


Intimacy

by Rahenna



Series: Ace of Hearts [19]
Category: Gakuen Heaven 2 ~Double Scramble~
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Secret Relationship, Sleepy Cuddles, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-10
Updated: 2016-02-10
Packaged: 2018-05-19 13:28:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5968924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rahenna/pseuds/Rahenna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yuki learns about the quiet joy of non-sexual intimacy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Intimacy

**Author's Note:**

> Contains spoilers for Gakuen Heaven 2. If you intend to play the game yourself, reading this may ruin your fun a bit. :)
> 
> Originally posted here:  
> [Adults Always Lie](http://heaven.neo-romance.net/lies/)
> 
> If you want to know more about the Gakuen Heaven series, please visit my fansite for game translations and summaries:  
> [welcome to Heaven](http://heaven.neo-romance.net/)

**Saturday, October 28, 2017**

I felt sure that no one in the entire world was happier than me at that moment, wrapped in my favorite casual outfit, snuggled up under luxurious sheets and blankets with one arm tucked under a soft pillow and the other curled around the person I loved. My eyes were half-closed, the image of his face before mine hazy, but the softness of my vision was pleasant and comfortable. He was watching me too, one strong arm around my waist, warm fingers idly petting my back. I could have fallen asleep right there, not caring that it was the middle of the day and that the sun was streaming in the window.

I might have taken a nap if my thoughts and emotions would just stay under control long enough. Instead, my mind wandered, not wanting to be content with warmth and closeness. The hand touching my back could have been slipping into my shirt instead. A gentle embrace should lead to a tight hug, our bodies pressing together so close that I could feel his chest rise and fall with his breath. Ah, I loved that so much, those little things that couldn't be noticed if there was space between us. Not just his breath, but a little sighing murmur in my ear, the stiffness of an erect nipple that was hidden only by thin fabric, or my favorite, a throbbing heartbeat inside of me.

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to banish those images, though I already felt my own heart beginning to pound in my chest and heard the sudden heaviness of my breath.

The hand on my back stopped moving, as if silently disapproving. I'd been found out.

"Asahina, are you getting aroused again?"

It took nothing more than the familiar sound of his sleepy murmur to send a shock down my spine. "U, um... not really," I lied, willing all the signs of my body's betrayal to disappear immediately. But my mind decided to betray me as well, supplying more images of past encounters, vague impressions of physical sensation, and hints of hazily remembered scent.

This was our third weekend without sex, and I _wanted_ it.

"Don't lie, Asahina, you're practically panting in my face." The professor's tone was light, not quite amused. Indulgent, maybe. "Try to relax. Breathe normally."

"I'm trying," I muttered, forcing myself to take a deep breath, even if it was shaky. I opened my eyes, and the professor was watching me, his expression faintly fond but mostly neutral, eyes fixed on my face. Somehow that just made everything worse, and I felt my face catch fire.

"Asahina," he began, but I let out a little grunt of irritation and turned to hide my face in the pillow. Why couldn't I stay in control of myself? It was like my body and my brain were two naughty dogs just waiting for the chance to escape and go do whatever they wanted, leaving me to clean up the mess. And to feel ashamed for their embarrassing behavior.

"I feel so stupid," I huffed, eyes growing moist. I forced that back hard; I wasn't going to shame myself further by sniffling about it.

His fingers tickled through my hair for a few moments, then his hand slid down to stroke my blushing cheek. "You're not stupid, Asahina, and you're not a failure. You're trying to do something that goes against your body's instincts. Of course it's going to be difficult."

I opened one eye, turning my head slightly to peek up at the professor. His smile was warm and genuine, not the overly indulgent look I'd been expecting. That made me feel a tiny bit better. "But," I protested, "you're not having any trouble."

Well, of course not. He had lots more experience. Adults were good at hiding their true feelings and suppressing their urges. My stupid body couldn't help being too honest.

"Hmp, that's what you think. Here," he grasped my wrist gently and tugged. I relaxed my arm, curious, and let him guide my hand back under the covers.

After a moment, I realized what he was doing. "Wait, I'm not supposed to...!"

And then my palm was pressed into the heat of his crotch. My fingers twitched in unconscious reaction to the object of my desire, but other information made its way to my brain as well. Hot, not quite hard, but definitely not soft either.

He released me, and I pulled my hand away, though I was tempted to linger. "You're kinda hard..." My face flushed as I said it; we hadn't really talked about anything suggestive since I'd instituted the ban on sex a few weeks ago. Words that were easy to say while we moved against each other in bed sounded very different when the situation was less sexual.

"I am," he confirmed without a shred of hesitation or guilt. "It happens. You're close to me, and I'm touching you. Your skin is warm and smooth, your sleepy face is cute, you smell nice, and there's so many other little rewards that come from being close. It feels good, not just physically, but emotionally as well, so of course my body is anticipating something more."

And until recently, there always had been more. The chain of cuddle-kiss-arousal-sex had gone unbroken for months, training my body to expect each phase one after another. I wanted to follow that chain to the end, in the same way I wanted to follow salad-appetizer-main-dessert whenever I was presented with a delicious meal. But that wasn't the only way to enjoy food. Sometimes I was just in the mood for salad, or wanted to skip directly to dessert. Each one could be part of a whole, but they could also be sampled and enjoyed individually, delicious on their own.

Cuddling and kissing were the same, weren't they? And just because arousal happened, that didn't mean we had to act on it. Even if we wanted to. With enough willpower, even I could skip dessert. No, not just willpower. We'd made a promise to wait for our results. The bitterness of a broken promise would overwhelm the sweetness of a stolen dessert, creating an image of guilt and regret rather than a fond memory.

Besides, it would probably feel amazing after waiting so long. That's what I'd heard, anyway...

The professor poked my nose. "What are you thinking, Asahina? You got quiet all of a sudden."

"Um..." My cheeks colored. I couldn't tell him that I was comparing our intimate moments to a full course meal!

"Is it food again?" He peered at my face, almost grinning, as if he could read my mind simply by studying my expression. Well, he was pretty good at guessing, but only because he knew me so well. Or maybe because there weren't too many things I thought deeply about...

"N, not really!" Ugh, now my face really _was_ getting all red.

He stared at me, comically intent, for several seconds before rolling over onto his back with a quiet chuckle. "You're hungry, Asahina. Let's get up and eat something. It's better than lying around in bed and wishing we could devour each other, isn't it?"

"U, ugh... Professor, you don't have to say it like that..."

"It's true, isn't it?" He threw back the blanket and got up, combing his fingers through his messy hair in an attempt to settle it back into place. I sat up too, heart pounding as I watched. Even with his hair sticking out and clothes all rumpled, the professor looked incredible to me, tall and slim, stretching with a casual ease that made my mouth go dry.

 _These are the important moments,_ I realized.

The weekends we'd spent since our argument, curled up in chaste embraces and murmuring to each other, weren't any less than the weekends with sex. Life wasn't meant to be wasted on waiting for a future event. Life was right now.

_Don't waste it._

I scrambled to my knees and stumbled across the bed, half-bouncing and half-falling into the professor's arms. He staggered backward, barely managing to steady himself as my feet slipped off the bed and onto the floor, rebalancing our joined bodies.

"Asahina...!"

"Sorry! I just..." I looked up, grin softening into a gentler smile. "I just want to be near you."

~ end ~


End file.
